My family calls it abnormal. My friends think it's impressive.
I don't think it's anything because I'm too low-maintenance to care.
I don't think it's anything because I'm too low-maintenance to care.
Picture the scene... You've come home from a long day at work and you're looking for something to relax yourself. What do you do?
a) Take a long, much needed shower - wash away those stressful vibes.
b) Change your clothes and clamber into bed to watch Netflix, complete with popcorn.
c) Absolutely f*cking nothing. Fall into your unmade bed, still in your work clothes and just lay there.
If you answered anything other than 'c'... congrats! You're less lazy, ehem, low-maintenance than me. I don't need an entertainment source after being far too stimulated at work. I am quite happy to lollop into the bed I couldn't be bothered to make in the morning, with nothing but my own thoughts to send me into napland.
On the subject of showering...
I find it a physical impossibility to spend any more than 12 minutes in the shower. That is my record and I was really trying to be slow. My fastest is around 3 minutes and on average I take no more than 5. Upon asking my 15-year old sister, she worked out she spends about 25 minutes in the steam cage and Hollie, our wonderful Creative Director, can be gone a good 45 minutes when she says she's off to wash.
Lemme break it down.
- Enter shower. Wet hair and body. (20 seconds)
- Shampoo and rinse. (1 minute)
- Repeat. (1 minute)
- Apply conditioner to ends of hair. (10 seconds)
- While we wait for conditioner to absorb, wash body and shave armpits. (2 minutes)
- Get out.
That is my typical 4 and a half minute shower. Call it 5 if I drop the conditioner bottle on my foot and cry because I can't be asked to pick it back up. If I decide to treat myself, add 10 minutes (maximum) for shaving my legs. But usually I do this in the bath and lying in hot water, steaming for an hour, is a totally different activity.
Will someone please tell a low maintenance girl what 20 minute activity I'm missing while showering?
My sister gave an answer along the lines of "olive oil hair mask... deep conditioning... scrubbing and buffing" (whatever that means).
Bed Décor
The shrine in every high-maintenance gal's home is their majestic double bed, laden with throws, quilts and an excessive amount of cushions. When Hollie comes over, I make a desperate attempt to look like I have my life together by throwing picnic rugs and cheap mismatched cushions on top of a duvet. Underneath that is a mattress with no sheet on, because I kicked it off during the night and decided I couldn't be bothered to put it back on.
Now, I know you don't sleep with all that on your bed. Why? Because there's about a foot of space for your body compared to all the cushions you've got going on. You throw them off if you ever need to use your bed, otherwise they are a room accessory.
I must say, I envy your interior design skills, but I am way too low maintenance to buy things that will end up on my floor. There isn't the space for them anyway. I have all the stuff that doesn't fit in the drawers I haven't cleaned out down there.
Photos
I'm talking 'Instagram Themes'. The thing about high-maintenance girls is that they do life so effortlessly, they just know that it is something they have to keep up to get by. Your instagram is like a storyboard of a Marilyn Monroe movie. You have an effortless natural glow to all your shots which says "All natural. I didn't spend thirty minutes planning, shooting and editing this." You would have me fooled, but I know what all natural means. Just take a look at my basic Insta account. Here's how I take photos:
- Find a source of light, preferably a window but really I don't care.
- Load phone camera.
- Smile. I don't pout because I look like a fish when I do.
- Take pictures. Usually about 5.
- Pick one. If all of them look ugly, give up and try again when you're not on your period.
- Stick an Instagram filter on it.
- Upload.
Recently, I have discovered an app called AirBrush, which I spoke about briefly in our launch post. It lets you edit loads of things like lighting, acne, under-eye circles all in different categories and it has a whole bunch of filters to scroll through!
Or, alternatively, if you're low-maintenance like me, there's an 'Auto' feature which does everything for you.
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Hope you've enjoyed reading this little one. I'll see you next Wednesday!
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